Tweblog - Toby Getsch

Interestingly enough, my past few days have been cold, and have reminded me of some chilly times back in MN.  Yet, I’m in Washington State, the beautiful Pacific Northwest.  Why, was I cold.  Because I’ve been without power for 5 days now, and the expected delivery is another 4 or 5 more.  C-c-c-c-old!

Seeing one’s breath is nothing new for me.  But putting on a headlamp to go pee at 4 AM and seeing my breath the whole way, and needing to drop a deuce, but willing to hold it because that lid is dern chilly… is cold.  It’s been about 40 to 45 degrees, inside my apartment.  To regain reality and mental opaqueness, I’m now domesticating myself at a friends flat, and have brought my PC here to catch up on lost time - - as if lost time is something that can be caught up - it’s just gone, ba-bye.

So, I got an email from my uncle David Getsch, that came in some time over the past few days.  It was forwarded to him from his bro-in-law Paul Hanson.  And, below - - Dar she blows! 

Winter Temps in Minnesota (on the Fahrenheit scale)

60 above zero:
Floridians turn on the heat.
People in Minnesota plant gardens.

50 above zero:
Californians shiver uncontrollably.
People in Duluth sunbathe.

40 above zero:
Italian & English cars won’t start.
People in Minnesota drive with the windows down.

32 above zero:
Distilled water freezes.
The water in Bemidji gets thicker.

20 above zero:
Floridians don coats, thermal underwear, gloves, wool hats.
People in Minnesota throw on a flannel shirt.

15 above zero:
New York landlords finally turn up the heat.
People in Minnesota have the last cookout before it gets cold.

Zero:
People in Miami all die.
Minnesotans close the windows.

10 below zero:
Californians fly away to Mexico.
People in Minnesota get out their winter coats.

25 below zero:
Hollywood disintegrates.
The Girl Scouts in Minnesota are selling cookies door to door.

40 below zero:
Washington DC runs out of hot air.
People in Minnesota let the dogs sleep indoors.

100 below zero:
Santa Claus abandons the North Pole.
Minnesotans get upset because they can’t start the Mini-Van.

460 below zero:
ALL atomic motion stops (absolute zero on the Kelvin scale.)
People in Minnesota start saying…”Cold ’nuff fer ya?”

500 below zero:
Hell freezes over.
Minnesota public schools will open 2 hours late.